Lifes not fair
by BringMeAlexandria
Summary: Nothing in Leah Clearwaters life was fair, she never got what she wanted, everything she loved was taken from her. And worse of all she is an outcast wherever she goes.
1. Chapter 1

**yeep, its me again:)**  
><strong>i wrote this as a one shot, but i can see the potential for it to be continued. if i continue it will either be a romance with embry or romance with paul. so read and enjoy. review and tell me if it should stay a one shot or if i should continue, let me know if you prefer paul or embry for the romance. <strong>

**readon... slashslashslash**

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><p>Life's not fair.<p>

No, it never was for me.  
>I suppose your wondering who I am. Well, to answer that question, I am Leah Clearwater. Outcast everywhere I go.<p>

Let me explain something to you. I'm not a normal 17 year old girl from la push, I just so happen to be a shape shifter. And not just any shape shifter, no, I am a freak among freaks. I am the only female shifter, in all the legends it never mentioned a female shifter, so to my pack brothers I am an outcast. I don't get treated normally, they all see me as a sour bitch- even my own brother thinks this, though he tries to hide it. To understand the reasons for this I'll have to tell my story, so here we go.

It was the week after my 16th birthday, I couldn't have been happier. I had my incredibly hot boyfriend Sam, I had my family, my annoying younger brother Seth who I wouldn't replace for the world, I had my loving mum. And best of all I had my dad, Harry Clearwater, he was everything I could ask for. He was more than my dad, he was my best friend, my protector, my rock. And to make it all better my cousin Emily was coming to the rez for the weekend to celebrate with me. It was all perfect, until Emily actually arrived.

She got to the house for lunch time on 27th march, soon to be on the list of days I would happily erase, we sat in the living room catching up. We talked for about 10 minuets until Sam walked in. he froze and Emily cut off mid sentence. I didn't know what had happened until about a month later but were not at that part yet.

Sam walked straight over to Emily, much to my dismay, took her hand and just looked into her eyes. I couldn't comprehend it, I started crying, and I knew in that moment that I had lost two of the most important people in my life. My sobs must have wrenched Sam out of whatever trance he was in. he looked at me and his eyes filled with guilt.

" Leelee, I'm sorry. We're over." No explanation, so I did the only thing I could do . I ran. I ran, blinded by my tears.

From that day I vowed I would never let another person in, I would never show my feelings, I would never feel again. Except for the deep hatred I now held for Sam and Emily, and unknown to me at the time imprinting.

The only way I got through it was my dad, he didn't let me lock myself away in my room, and he didn't let me lash out at the people I so wanted to hurt for inflicting the pain on me. No, my dad distracted me, he spent all his time with me. He took me fishing, he watched the games on the TV with me, he stayed with me at the bonfires, and he kept me from the depression. Even though he was the tribe leader he always had time for me.

But of course I never get a happy ending. Two months later my dad had a heart attack. I sat by him in the hospital, I held his hand. Every time anyone entered the room or tried to get me to leave and rest I would snarl at the. There was no way I was going to leave my dad on his own, it didn't matter that there were family and friends that could take my place, he needed me almost as much as I needed him. As I had vowed I never let the emotions that were tearing me up show, the only evidence of my emotions was how tightly I gripped his hand and the look buried deep in my eyes.

He died, my dad died. He was taken away from me. But still I never shed a single tear, I didn't spiral into depression, I didn't lash out- he would have been proud.

The funeral was 3 days later. The whole of la push and some people from forks was there, all solemnly paying respect to my dad. I sat through the whole of the ceremony, blank faced, I couldn't bring myself to give a speech. I knew if I got up there in front of all the people watching I would break down. When the time came for the casket to be lowered I watched in silence as my beloved father was lowered into the ground. I let a single tear drip down my face.

As the days passed my lack of emotion turned into sadness, I sat in my room for a week doing nothing but listening to music and replaying memories over and over again. Still I did not cry, I refused. Then it turned into anger. I was angry at myself, if id been a better daughter he wouldn't of died. I was angry at mum, I was angry at Seth. I was angry at everyone who gave me looks filled with pity. And most of all I was angry with Sam and Emily. Even though my dad had just died they continued there blissful romance, acting as if it never happened. I wanted to lash out and hurt them but I couldn't bring myself to face them. Not yet.

I finally mustered up the courage to face them, not just because of my hatred for them. Sam was up to something, he had been for months, and Seth had now started hanging around with him. Just like everyone else did… Jared,Paul,Quil,Embry,Jake and the rest. Now that it happened to Seth, I had to find out. How I wished I hadn't though.

_flashback_

_I stormed down the stairs, I had just watched Seth leave the house to meet Sam again. Id had enough, was it not enough that id had Sam, Emily and my dad taken off me , now I had to lose Seth too? No, I would fix this. It was raining, when was it not? But I didn't bother about that . I ran down the street and took the shortcut I had known so well to Sam's house. It took me all of five minuets, not enough time to convince myself what a mistake I was making. I didn't bother knocking on the door, I just walked in. They were all there, they turned and looked at me. I looked around and saw Emily, the evil bitch, sitting on Sam's lap. I was quickly losing my temper. Seth sat on one of the sofas in-between Jared and Paul. Embry, quill and Jacob sat on the other while Colin and Brady sat on the floor. I was the first to speak._

_" What the fuck is going on?" I demanded, I don't know why but I started shaking, my body began to feel hot._

_"Leah, calm down," Sam must have noticed the shaking._

_" No, I want to know what your problem is. What is wrong with all of you? You've all changed." It was true , in about a week they had all changed, they got taller, and they got muscles. When I say muscles I don't just mean muscles I mean as if they are on steroids. This amongst all other weird things going on with them had finally caused me to snap._

_" What problem? We don't have a problem, seems to me it's you who has the problem. You're insane." Paul snapped._

_That was is._

_I was shaking uncontrollably by now, you would think that Sam and the others would have realised what was happening but they never expected what happened next._

_I felt a scorching heat shoot up my legs and back, I was on fire. I heard my bones crunch. What was happening. All this happened in less than a second but I went through the whole thing in slow motion. My clothes tore into millions of shreds and I seemingly exploded to. In retrospect I knew I had not exploded because I was alive and seemingly unharmed. I looked up to see all the guys looking at me, with horror in their eyes. What is their problem?_

_I went to ask them but all that came out was a growl. Wait, what?_

_I looked down and all I could see were two grey paws. Paws. I couldn't help it, I howled, I howled a long and ear-splitting howl that showed the emotional pain I was going through._

_"Holy shit!" came from Paul. I expected that._  
><em>"What the fuck?" was from Jake, expected that too.<em>

_What I didn't expect was what came from Sam. " She's female, she can't be one of us. It never said in the legends that a female could change." What the actual fuck is he talking about, he thinks he's a wolf now to. This is clearly just some fucked up dream._

_So I did what any rational person/ were wolf would do in this situation. I turned around and bit my tail. No, I didn't wake up. All that I accomplished was a mouthful of fur and a sore tail. _

_Please god, don't let this be real. I looked back up at everyone. They had calmed down considerably by now. Sam, clearly the leader, started talking to me. I was having none of it, not off him._

_I started snarling and snapping, but all that accomplished was a pissed off Sam. He started shaking to, but controlled himself._

_"Listen Leah, your not the only one, all of us are shape shifters too. The legends are true. You shouldn't have changed, there aren't supposed to be female shifters. But you are so we'll just have to get used to it. " He went on to explain it all, the mind link when were in wolf form, the transformation, the pack, and the cold ones and finally imprinting._

_I was pretty calm until he used him and Emily as the example. He told me that was what happened that day, as soon as he saw her he knew she was his soul mate. He told me it wasn't his fault that he had to break up with me, at that part I lost it. The ignorant bastard, of course it was his fault, he wasn't even sorry. So I lunged for his throat, I didn't quite make it, I was grabbed by 2 pairs of hands. But I did manage to claw his chest. I had the satisfaction of watching him bleed._

_before you think I'm a psychotic freak, I'm not I just got some piece out of him being hurt, it wasn't the same kind of pain but it was still related to what I went through._

_End flashback_

_I never could get_ to grips with the fact that Sam was alpha, him being in charge of me after everything he put me through. The fact that he knew my every thought, he knew the pain he caused me. I was over him, I just couldn't forget what he did to me.

Were finally at the part of why they think I am a sour bitch.

I never have particularly happy thoughts, whenever I phase I am reminded of Sam, and that makes me relive my memories, my hurt and I get mad. The guys think I do it on purpose to make everyone miserable. They're wrong, I make myself miserable and I would rather not, but I can't control it. I'm misunderstood, that's why they see me the way they do.

After all, life's not fair.

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><p><strong>so youve read it . what did you think? review and let me know.<strong>  
><strong>review and tell me whether it should be a one shot or should i contunue it, if i should continue it with who? paul or embry? give me your ideas<strong>

**yours**

**slashslashslash :)**


	2. birthday wishes

**So…. I decided I would continue this. Making it into a romance between Leah and Paul.**

**While I was writing this I was listening to skinny love by Birdy, I don't even know why. I usually only listen to rock, but I heard it on holiday and find it so emotional. I love it.**

**Just thought I'd let you know that:) **

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><p><strong>Birthday wishes <strong>

Life just can't get any better can it? It's my 18th birthday, oh the joy.

Just to make it better I can't just spend my birthday in peace- away from the people that unintentionally make my life a living hell. Well not people, more like person. One person in particular, Sam Uley, if it wasn't for him I wouldn't be hated by the pack. I wouldn't feel the way I feel and I certainly would be a hell of a lot happier than I had been in the last 2 years.

Sam has decided that I am on patrol all day, on my birthday. I think he does it on purpose, you know. Paul is on the same shift as me. We do not get along, not at the best of times. Seth tells me it's because we both share so many of the same qualities. He went on to tell me these qualities, which just so happened to involve ` temperamental, defensive, close minded and easily aggravated` being told this did not help my good mood.

I woke from my none too pleasant sleep and dragged myself from bed; I didn't bother with nice clothes since I would phase as soon as I left the house. So I went with simple shorts and vest top, no underwear- there's just no point wearing it when you're going to phase. I trudged down the stairs to find Seth and mum sitting at the kitchen table; yep they are morning people, guess who isn't.

"Morning sis, want some toast?" my happy go lucky Brother Seth asked.

"Yeah, please." I replied. The next thing that happened was I was hit in the face with a piece of toast; he just threw my toast at me!

"Err... you were supposed to catch that." Seth told me nervously.

I just glared at him and carried on munching the offending toast. My mum had left somewhere in the middle of our discussion, but she walked back in jangling something.

"Happy birthday, darling." She walked up to me and enclosed me in the circle of her arms, I responded, hugging her back.

She handed me what was in her hand, I looked down and saw keys. Car keys. I ran to the front door, nearly banging into it in my haste to get outside. When I stopped in front of me was parked the car I had been asking for ever since I got my licence.

Parked right before me was a black 1989 Chevrolet pickup. In a rare show of emotion I grinned and ran to the car. I shoved the key into the ignition and smiled as it growled to life.

I spent the rest of my morning thanking my mum and watching TV. By 11 am it was time to leave. I didn't have to go far; I walked out the front yard and into the forest. I stripped, without checking if anyone was around, then I phased. I should have checked.

_`Nice ass, Clearwater` Paul proceeded to show me my so called nice ass._

_` What the fuck? Paul you dick, leave me alone. ` I ran off into the trees, running the border._

_Of course, Paul being Paul had to go and follow me. He caught up, I was faster but I was hardly trying today. I wasn't in the mood for it. Birthdays brought back too many memories, of Sam and Emily, of dad, some happy, but most out shadowed by the bad._

_Paul nudged my shoulder, successfully pulling me out of my daydreams. They could only get worse, in that second I was glad for Paul, glad for his annoyingness. If he hadn't distracted me, he would have known everything, I would have had to relive it._

_But it didn't last, Paul had to go and ruin it._

_` You know what, Clearwater, I never noticed before but, you got a seriously hot body. I can just imagine all the things I would do to you. ` He said._

_I was then bombarded with images of Paul… and me. Some of the things in them images were enough to scar. I sneered at Paul for that._

_` Well none of that will ever happen, fucktard. ` When I said that I got a pang. Must be anger, he always does a pretty good job of pissing me off._

_The rest of the morning passed as it usually did, Paul tormenting me and me retorting with insults. _

_About five minuets before the end of the shift, Sam and the rest of the pack phased. Wondered why? Before I had time to question it, I got my answer. Pack meeting. Fun, yeah right. Just a bunch of hormonal boys/wolves arguing and snapping and then there's me. _

_` Paul, Leah- at the clearing, we're rearranging some of the shifts. ` Blunt as ever._

_We arrived last, everyone was in a circle, a fucked up circle but a circle none the less. As soon as we took our positions Sam started._

_`Jared, quill, your now together. Colin, Seth. Leah, Jacob. Embry, Paul. Me and Brady. Is everyone okay with that? ` Sam asked gruffly._

_`yeah` Paul stated, a little nervous, ` if its okay id like to stay with Leah? ` He asked it more of a question. _

_Everyone, and I mean everyone, went silent. They all stared at Paul or me, some in disbelief some in confusion. Almost all of them were wondering why Paul would willingly stay with me._

_None the less Sam agreed. ` Fine, Jake you're with Embry then. You can all go now. `_

_Why did Paul do that? Maybe he hated Embry more than me; maybe he just likes annoying me. A small part of me was secretly wondering if maybe he liked me. But I shoved that aside, what a load of bullshit, why would Paul like me? I'm a bitch, everyone says so._

So I phased when I got back home. I walked into the house, it was empty. I microwaved some leftovers from last night and ate it in about 10 seconds flat. What? I'm a wolf, I have a big appetite.

It was only about 7pm, but I had nothing else to do so I sat on the sofa and flicked through the channels. You'd think since it was my birthday that id be out partying, but no. I don't have anyone who would party with me. I mean, sure, I have the pack. But I'm almost certain that most of them have better things to do. Since I was left on my own I had nothing to do but immerse myself in my thoughts, probably not a good idea for me. I was lost in memories of when my anger and depression was at its highest. I sat on the sofa for about an hour just thinking.

Suddenly the door slams and startled me so bad I fell on the floor with a shouted "fuck! Shit! Ow!" so there's me sprawled on the floor, swearing, when Seth walks in followed by Paul. Great, my night couldn't possibly get any worse. Seth, used to my weirdness, just walked straight past me and threw himself down on the sofa.

Paul stood in the doorway just looking at me, I sneered at him, "what you looking at?"

He stared dumbfounded at me, finally giving up and just went to sit on the opposite end of the sofa to Seth. "Hey! I was sitting on there!" eyeing the small space between the two.

"Just come sit down" Paul said mockingly patting the tiny bit of sofa remaining. Seth just looked at me expectantly.

"Fine!" I huffed, plonking down. There wasn't much room, with their being two werewolves sharing with me. I was basically snuggled up to Paul, for lack of the better word. He didn't seem to mind at all, I was sitting there doing nothing but watching TV when suddenly he's stroking my leg! Ignorant bastard.

"Fuck off Paul. My day has been bad enough! I don't need you making it worse. How bad can one birthday be?" I ranted, completely ignoring his look of shock when I mentioned my birthday. I continued my rant, after a brief pause to catch my breath "you guys make my life bad enough, without you going out of your way to irritate me. I've already had a bad enough day, thank you very much!" I was practically screaming at this point.

Paul looked at me for a while. "Happy birthday Lee." He smiled innocently. Absolutely unfuckingbelievable.

I gave up and just slumped down on the sofa. I was starting to get tired, but I was too comfy to move.

I blinked, confused, it was dark. Where was I?

I tried to sit up, something was holding me down, I looked down and realised it wasn't holding me down it was holding me against it. I don't know how me and Paul got in this situation, but Seth was gone and the TV was off.

Paul was sprawled along the sofa, feet dangling over the edge, with me half on top of him. His arms encircled my waist pressing me against his amazingly defined chest. My face was in the crook of his neck while his was tilted towards me. I never realized before but he looks so peaceful when he sleeps. His face relaxes, making him even more handsome than when he is awake, he always seems tense when he is awake. He has a slight smile playing across his lips.

I looked around, looking around for the time and found it on the DVD player, 11pm. Where the hell was Seth? Why didn't he wake me? And why were me and Paul sleeping like that?

I mean it's not like it wasn't comfy, it was, very much so, but how awkward is explaining this going to be?

I shifted a little and pulled up; I accomplished nothing but Paul's hands sliding down from my back to my ass. I gave a little gasp and bucked a little. Right about then Paul stirred and his eyes fluttered. I think when I bucked against his hands I accidentally grinded against him, oops. He smirked and squeezed my ass, I couldn't help it, and I bucked again. I succeeded in grinding against him again.

"Paul, stop it." I told him.

But no, Paul does it again. Big surprise he never listens. I was more prepared this time, when he squeezed I jut stared at him. He frowned slightly, clearly not happy with my lack of response.

What I didn't expect was what he did next, he pinched my ass. That time I jumped more than the last time, grinding against him, hard, and suddenly I could feel a hardness pressing against me.

I refused to blush; instead I smirked and looked at him.

"Look who's happy," I stated dryly.

the response to that was Paul flipping us so he was on top, supporting his weight on his knees, he leaned down to about an inch away from my face and whispered " defiantly," with that he flipped us back over, in the position we started in.

I began to protest , but no, he ignored me, pulling me against him. "Shhh, lee, go back to sleep now, I'm tired and I have to meet Sam in the morning." He tightened his arms around me; as much as I tried I couldn't escape him. I was awfully tired, but there was no way I was falling back asleep on Paul. I struggled for a while, with no look, in the end I gave up and succumbed to the dreams. Not happy dreams either, I dreamt about how happy Sam and Emily were together and what they did to me, I dreamt about my dad. I dreamt about all the good times with all of them. But it always ended the same, they all left me, in Sam and Emily's case it was optional in my dad's case it wasn't. But I was still left.

I wish they didn't.

I wish that I could just have my happy ending.

But do wishes ever come true?

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><p><strong>okay so i updated, after a day, that is seriously fast for me. i wouldnt expect it all the time, more like once a week.<strong>

**so whatcha` think? any good? how can i make it better? **

**like my ideas? is it boring? **

**review and let me know your thoughts on it, so i can improve **

**bye for now ...**

**slashslashslash**


	3. just like any other day, not

**Just like any other day, not.**

This is seriously one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. So there I am having a great sleep, on a particularly warm chest. Wait, what?

It all came rushing back. Last night, falling asleep, waking up, going back to sleep. I looked up to see Seth, Quil and Embry all looking at me with mischievous grins. Shit. I glared up at them before quickly glancing down. It was worse than I first thought. Paul was taking up the whole sofa in all his shirtless glory that left him in just a pair of basket ball shorts riding low on his hips. His head rested back on the arm of the sofa, a contented smile on his lips. I was laying on him, my chest crushed to his, my legs intertwined with his, my head resting in the crook of his neck. His circled me, one hand resting on my hip the other on my upper thigh. I shifted slightly to take in my appearance; well I had more clothes on than Paul. But only just. I wore an old vest top that rode up my stomach showing a fair amount of skin, I had on some shorts. If you could call them that. They barely covered my ass.

I swore under my breath before looking back up at the guys stood in front of me. They seemed to of heard though because as soon as it came out my minuet it came out of my mouth the burst into hysterics.

"Shut up, idiots! You'll wake him." That did the total opposite of what I hoped for; they just laughed harder tears running down their cheeks.

I could see where they were coming from, me and Paul did not mix. I was the angry bitch of the pack always sneering at people and he was the volatile, temperamental always itching for a fight, wolf. Always fighting, never friends. To even imagine me and Paul in this situation took one hell of an imagination. And there we were, in this situation.

"fuck! Get up, dumbass." I exclaimed, giving Paul a slap on the chest as encouragement.

His eyes fluttered open, looked at me all irritated, then closed again. Prick. Why can't he just listen? We have embarrassed ourselves enough.

"Paul, seriously you have to get up!" I told him, trying to be patient.

This time he didn't even bother opening his eyes, he just frowned slightly and told me, "Shh, babe, I'm sleeping. You should too. Besides I'm comfortable, go back to sleep."

By the time he got to babe, the three dicks standing there trying to contain there laughter were howling on the floor. Paul didn't seem to notice though. So I resorted to my last option. I slapped him, hard. This worked. He shot up, staring at me, not in pain but annoyance.

"What the fuck was that for? I just wanted to sleep." He said all this with a slight pout. I will let a bloodsucker bite me before I admit this out loud but that pout did all sorts of naughty things to me.

I snapped my gaze from him to dumbasses 1, 2 and 3. Howling with laughter, ha-ha funny, clutching stomachs and gasping for air. Only then did they register in Pauls mind. He whipped his head around sharply, his hot glare taking in the scene in front of him. He was not impressed.

"Out, now! Before I kick your asses to Tuesday." He roared at them. They instantly sobered, but Seth being the idiot he is had to go and point out an incredibly stupid but true fact.

"Dude, I live here." Seeing the rage burning in Paul's eyes Embry and Quil fled the room, leaving Seth stood there on his own.

Expecting that Paul would want to get up and kick his ass I shifted trying to free myself from his arms so I could get up. Apparently not, he wanted me to stay, his arms didn't budge. In fact they tightened, pulling me more firmly against his chest, his scent wafted into my nose. It was like the forest, like the sea and just purely Paul. Yum.

I noted that Seth was still standing there. Paul didn't even bother to move he just fixed his eyes on my idiot brother and gave him a glare that would chill to the bone. Finally realising his mistake my brother fled the room without another word.

I looked back at Paul, defiantly not expecting what awaited me. He hugged me even more firmly to him before telling me, "morning Lee, sleep well?" he said it with a friendly tone and a look in his dark eyes that told me he truly cared.

"Err… ok-k I mean good. I-I guess." I can not believe it. I stuttered. I ducking stuttered. I never do that. Holy heaven and hell that I don't even believe in what is this boy, man, doing to me? Before I could contemplate answers Pauls reply knocked me out of lala land.

"Well I slept amazingly. I'm hungry. Want some breakfast Clearwater?" I mutely nodded.

I gave a yelp when he stood up taking me with him, in his arms. I kicked my legs futilely. He ignored my protests, depositing me on the kitchen counter.

I stayed there, watching as he rooted in the fridge. He walked towards me with a pack of bacon and a dozen eggs. You may be thinking, what a pig, but us wolves have big appetites. I watched as he got out everything he needed, he then started frying the bacon and the eggs. I listened to it crackle and after about ten minuets it was all ready. He rationed it all out on plates while I hopped of the counter, grabbed two glasses and filled them with orange. I sat at the table and dug into my small mountain of food while Paul did the same. I don't know why but I found that as we ate we were enveloped in a contented silence. I felt perfectly at ease.

We continued to eat for about minuets before Paul suddenly burst out, "shit, the time. Got to be at Sam and Em's in ten minuets. You need to come as well."

"Why do I need to be there?" I asked sceptically, they usually didn't want me around that much, why did they suddenly want me around. No not they. Him. Paul.

"Because you never come, and you should. Please, for me?" he looked so nervous when he said that I laughed.

"Fine, ill come." Suddenly a piece of bacon landed on my chest, and then proceeded to make a greasy trail down the front of my top. I grabbed it from between my boobs, wiping at the grease. "What the hell was that for?"

"You laughed at me" he replied sulkily. My reply to that was to throw the bacon back at him. He caught it before putting the whole thing in his mouth. I watched aghast, that had been down my top. He had seen it.

Typical fucking Paul.

Five minuets later I had washed the dishes, changed into a clean vest top and shorts and we were on our way to Sam and Emily's. I don't know why I had agreed to come. I hated it there. It reminded me of what had happened- it was like a constant reminder. But when Paul had asked, looking so nervous I just couldn't bring myself to say no.

So there I sat in the passenger seat of Paul's car. Wishing for anything that would delay our arrival. As we got closer I began to realise it was not happening. I suddenly had a brilliant idea. I must have been eyeing the door handle because the next thing I know I'm crushed against Pauls heated side.

"Really Clearwater, you are not going to jump out of the car just to avoid this." He told me sternly with a little frown on his face. I wonder what was going through his mind. Probably how much of a crazy bitch I was.

Sooner than I really thought possible we were parked and Paul was trying to urge me out of the car. Id had enough of listening to this, him telling me it will be fine. It will not I can feel it. But if I was going to do it, I may as well just get it over with. With renewed determination I stepped out of the car and stalked to the door. Paul caught up in a few long strides. He opened the door and I stepped through. Conversation stopped for a moment, and then it was like a timer had gone off. In sync they all returned to what they were doing. I stomped over to the nearest sofa, which was currently occupied by Colin and Brady. But it would have to do it was the only remaining seat. Before I could even begin to sit, Paul had pushed me out of the way and I was left stood there dumbfounded.

The little, or should I say big, fucker smirked at me. I couldn't help it. I kicked him. I put all my strength behind it and since I was a wolf I had a lot. I heard a satisfying crunch as the bone shattered. Now it was my turn to smirk.

Instead of looking at me like he was ready to tear my head of he was looking at me with what I could only call admiration. He seemed pretty god damn happy for someone who just had their knee shattered on purpose. And what is with him looking at me with proud look in his eyes.

"Now move." I demanded. Of course he ignored me and instead patted his knee. No, not the one is shatter, which was already mostly healed, the other one. Arrogant dick.

I stomped right up to him, intending to give him a menacing talk about patronizing me. But instead arms suddenly circled my waist. Before I could stop him he pulled me into his lap. I struggled, but he was having none of it.

So, I just gave up. What a shame, I was stuck in an incredibly hot mans lap. Not to mention he was shirtless.

The day went on, I sat in Pauls lap, the guys joking, laughing and having fun. I stayed on the sidelines but I laughed along with them and joked with them. They all seemed surprised but no one objected. We did receive some weird looks. But I blame it on Paul; he is the one who trapped me on his lap.

About an hour after we got there Emily walked into the room closely followed by Sam. What a surprise, he was like a shadow. They seemed so happy and carefree. I couldn't help it I didn't say anything but my body went rigid, I couldn't help the bitter thoughts I was thinking. Paul tightened his arms comfortingly, calming me. It worked, a little. I was still thinking things that I'm sure Sam and Emily would be upset to hear. I couldn't help it though, not after what they did to me.

Still I put on a happy face and listened with the rest of the pack.

"We have something to tell you" Emily said. She looked so happy, until she locked her eyes with mine then her smile faltered. I managed a small smile, well probably more of a grimace but I tried.

She carried on, "me and Sam have decided that we, ah, are going to get married." She smiled, she looked so happy, but her eyes kept flickering to me.

No, I didn't hear right. They can't. No. please, no. I don't think it had fully sunk in until now. I realised I had truly lost Sam. I had lost Emily. And I had lost any happiness I had ever had.

I couldn't bear it. I tried to free myself from Pauls comforting arms. But he wasn't letting go. I needed to leave. I tore at his arms, scraping, pulling. Using all my strength I managed to break through his arms. He tried to grab me but before he could I was already out the door. Mid step I phased. I exploded into the wolf halfway down the stairs. I ran to the woods. To the comfort of the tree, the comfort of the earthy smell and most of all the comfort of the darkness around me.

I couldn't help it, I howled. It wasn't a normal howl. It was filled with pain, the pain I had locked up behind iron walls for so long. It was filled with longing, longing for happiness, longing for peace and for there to be a day when I didn't have to relive every nightmare that was my life. I howled, long and hard. It was painful and ear-splitting but it needed to be done. I had to release some of the pain.

I ran through the trees, paws slick with mud. The rain pelting down on my silver fur turning it a bleak grey. I ran fast and hard, until I couldn't run any more. I collapsed in a heap of wet fur and mud.

I thought I was on my own, apparently not.

_`Leah`_ I looked up to see him there, his fur wet from the rain like mine, he padded over to me and threw himself down. His huge head resting on his paws while his body brushed against mine.

* * *

><p><strong>Well there it is. <strong>

**Did ya like it? Love it? Hate it?**

**Review and let me know what you think. **

**Till next time…**

**slashslashslash **


	4. finally coming to terms

**First of all I would like to apologise for the long wait, life's been hectic.**

**Secondly I won't be able to update for at least two weeks, I'm going away with my Nan and granddad, but when I get back I will update the first chance I get.**

**On with the story… **

**Finally coming to terms**

We must have been there hours, just sitting in the forest. The trees a rustling blanket above us, shielding most of the rain but it couldn't prevent the drizzle sneaking through its leaves and slowly soaking us. I just lay there, my head nuzzled under my paws, feeling sorry for myself. I was against self pity, hell pity in general, but at this moment I couldn't help it. Paul lay beside me, occasionally nudging my stomach with his muzzle, giving me comfort. I couldn't tell you how much I appreciated it.

We hadn't spoke since he had lay next to me, but I felt that continuing to sit in silence was impossible. So I uncovered my head and curled into a ball, my head resting on the ground, facing Paul. He watched me intently, probably making sure I wouldn't do something stupid. He was waiting, I could tell, for me to say something. So I did.

`_Paul, what are you doing here? ` _I questioned in a monotone, trying not to show the pain I was experiencing. Even though I know full well that he had experienced every thought and feeling I've had in the last few hours.

_` Making sure you're okay, which you clearly aren't, lee. ` _He told me gently. I was still trying not to let him see what I was thinking or feeling, but I have a feeling that he knew. But he didn't say anything and for that I am thankful.

_`I'm fine, honestly. `_ I said as convincingly as possible. But I was breaking down again; I could feel it on the edge of my conscience, creeping up on me. I kept getting flash backs of all the times I've had to watch Sam and Emily be a couple around me, giving each other loving glances and soft caresses. It pulled at my heart painfully. My mind barrier was cracking, and with it would flow all my feelings, thoughts and memories that I had hidden from even myself.

_`Your not, lee, I know you. Just let me in; I can help. ` _That one sentence was enough to completely shatter the wall. It all flooded out, in those few seconds that they were released into his mind, Paul saw enough to know.

_` You don't, and you can't. I'm broken. ` _I screamed this last sentence before collapsing onto the ground, phasing as I did. I lay on the forest floor, surrounded by the musk of the forest, the freshness of the falling rain and the smell of my pain.

I lay in a, naked, heap on the ground sobbing. I couldn't stop. It was too much, once that wall broke, everything had come back. Now it wouldn't leave. I lay there in front of Paul, naked on the ground, covered in dirt and leaves. I couldn't have cared less in that moment of what he thought of me. Well maybe I did, but the rest of my mind was too busy to acknowledge it.

I felt him. I felt him press his hand against by back. But it didn't help, nothing could. When I continued to sob he moved away. I think he just wants to leave.

Just like every one else leaves.

This sent me into a new set of wracking sobs.

Seconds later I felt something, I didn't bother moving though. But I felt it again, something toughing my waist. I opened my eyes to see Paul looking down on me. Sadness clouding his face. He stood up, I only just noticed, wearing a pair of cut offs, he reached down towards me. He grabbed me, picking me up. I wanted to question what he was doing, but I was in no state to do anything.

He sat down again now, with me on his lap, against a tree. Ignoring my naked state, he settled me so I was laying on him curled against his chest. His hand rubbed the length of my spine, while the other held me tightly to his hard body. I was briefly shocked and awed by the fact that his hands didn't stray and he took no advantage or looks of my lack of clothing.

I never knew Paul had a side like this to him. I thought he was all hard, hot headed, frustrating Paul. While that was incredibly sexy, to me at least, this side of him made me appreciate him more as a person. He showed me that he could care and comfort.

We sat like that until my eyes ran dry, by this point I was almost emotionally drained. Maybe not just emotionally either, as I found my eyes feeling heavy.

I lift my head up to see Paul watching my face with eyes burning with a heat so strong it warmed my face. My head felt heavy so I rested it on his shoulder, while still looking at him. I snuggled more tightly against his muscled chest, not feeling awkward in the slightest. I put it down to exhaustion.

"Paul, I'm sorry. You shouldn't have had to see that. But thank you. Thank you so much for staying with me, helping me." I told him softly, with none of the bitter edge I usually had to my voice.

"Shh, lee, you don't need to be sorry. It was not your fault, it never was. It was Sam's; he is the reason for all of this. And just so you know, I would always stay with you. I always will." His face darkened at the mention of Sam. I wondered why he would be angry at Sam. He was his friend, he would usually defend Sam. So why would he be angry at Sam for what he had done?

"Why? Why are you mad at Sam? I thought you told me he couldn't help what happened and that I should just move on. "I questioned him, I was genuinely confused.

"I'm mad at Sam because yeah maybe he couldn't help the imprint. But everything after that was unnecessary. He didn't need to end things with you like that; he didn't need to rub it in your face whenever you're phased. And he sure as hell didn't need to tell you that about the wedding like it was the best thing that had ever happened to him. He didn't need to make you feel like that." He fumed, he was shaking now.

I lifted a hand and placed it on his cheek, to calm him; I flicked my thumb out softly and brushed along his cheekbone. I loved the fact that he instantly calmed down and shuddered when my thumb brushed the corner of his mouth.

I removed my hand and felt kind of lost on where to put it, so I settled for resting it against his chest.

"Hey, its fine. I'll be fine, I over reacted. It will just take some getting used to is all. It was a shock." Though I was pretty certain that it would take a while for me to be fine, I had a pretty big feeling that I would eventually be fine. And be happy about it.

I stood up, watching as Paul frowned slightly at the loss of contact. That amused me slightly. I paused for a moment, wondering about my state of attire. Just as I was about to phase to solve the problem a shirt was thrown at me, Paul's shirt.

"I grabbed it before I left because I knew you would have no clothes." He told me while standing up. I pulled the shirt on noticing that it was just a plain white tee shirt that came down to my mid thigh. As I straightened it out I noted that when it got wet it would turn see through and skin tight. How convenient for Paul.

"Come on." I said before walking off in the direction that I lived in.

"Where?"

"Back to mine, we can shower then watch a movie." I told him simply. Id also make him dinner, it was the least I could do after all he had done for me.

"Shower? Together? Sounds fun." He joked, but I had a feeling he wasn't all joking. But I just shrugged it off, it was Paul after all.

After about 20 minuets of walking we arrived at my house, it was empty. We walked in, careful of the puddles we were bound to make.

"I'm going for a shower, I won't be long. Dig out some of Seth's clothes while I'm gone then you can go after me." I told him while walking away. He couldn't seem to take his eyes off my body considering the whole wet tee shirt dilemma. So I decided to tease him a little. As I walked, well more like sauntered, up the stairs I pulled the shirt up and over my head. Turning round briefly to throw it back to Paul. It hit him in the face, momentarily covering his lustful stare at my body. I laughed as I reached the top of the stairs.

I was quick when I showered; I just cleaned off the dirt and washed my hair. I then went into my room while Paul showered and dug out some pyjamas.

I grabbed a pair of boy shorts that barely covered my ass and a crop top. No bra. I brushed my hair and was done. I walked back down the stairs to see Paul on the sofa, in cut offs. When I walked into the room he turned to look at me and just smiled.

I ignored his freaky smile and walked over to the TV to grab the remote. By the time I had retrieved it he still had that smile. So to get him to stop I picked up a pillow and threw it at his face. Usually he probably could have caught it but since he was paying no attention what so ever it hit him smack in the face. It knocked him back. I stood in front of him, clutching my sides laughing.

I was so preoccupied with catching my breath. I didn't notice him sitting up with a mock scowl on his face. The next thing that happened caught me by surprise. I was knocked off of my feet, and I landed on Paul. He was now smirking at me while I tried to clamber up. He didn't let me. Instead he pushed me slightly to the side. So that I was half on him half against him, his arms holding me tightly to his chest, my head resting beneath his.

I knew there was no point in complaining. So I didn't. I just grabbed the remote and started flicking through channels until we settled on the food network. There was nothing else on. We sat there, snuggled up for about an hour, until both our stomachs began to growl.

Laughing I tried to sit up; Paul still wouldn't let me, with a small growl to emphasise his point.

"Paul, relax, I'm just going to make us some food." I told him softly, finally feeling his hold on me loosen. I stood up, stretched, and walked into the kitchen.

Paul followed closely behind me, moving to sit in a chair while I went to the fridge. I rifled through it until I finally decided there was nothing in there. So I looked through the cupboards. I finally decided on pasta.

I took out the ingredients and the pan. I boiled the water before pouring about 3 bags of pasta in. we eat a lot, so what. While I waited for that to cook I drummed my fingers against the counter.

Finally it was ready and I could put the sauce in. I plated it up, leaving two plates in the fridge, one for Seth and one for mum. I finally set it down at the table, along with 2 big glasses of coke.

I sat down. I was about to eat dinner with Paul. Alone.

I can only predict this will either go great or terrible. And I lean towards the latter.

**So there we have it. How was it? Let me know**

**So I will remind you. No updates for two weeks while I'm away. But I will write while i`m gone.**

**Until then**

**Slashslashslash :)**


	5. cliff dives and floating kisses

**So here it is, almost a week before i said. i got back off holiday early and decided to update. **

** enjoy. **

**Cliff dives and floating kisses**

It had been a week since my meltdown, I think I am finally over Sam and seeing him with Emily doesn't make me feel the way it used to. But that may have something to do with the fact that every time I see them he is there, holding my hand and whispering encouragement. Ever since then we have spent all our time together, and I haven't hated being near him like I used to. It made me feel safe, and cared for. Don't ask me why, I have no idea.

In the last week I haven't been on my own once, when Paul was gone Seth or mum would watch my every move, I think they thought I would explode at any moment. I wasn't, I was fine, Paul helped me realise that I didn't have to be the way I was. I realised that it wasn't because I truly loved Sam, that I had a breakdown; it was because of hurt pride. I think.

Over the last week I hadn't done much. Me and Paul spent most days on the sofa watching movies or just talking, other than patrols that's all we did really. And eat, a lot.

Anyway back to the present. Here I am lying in bed peacefully, with my eyes closed, while blasting some bullet for my valentine at top volume when I suddenly fly up into the air. Someone had jumped on the bed, and I had a pretty strong feeling who it was. Paul.

I cracked my eyes and found him sitting there on the end of the bed, grinning, I launch myself at him. I land on him, knocking him backwards, and punch him. I feel the crunch and watch as the blood begins to run down his face.

"What the fuck, lee? You just broke my nose for no good reason." He accused, using normal volume. Being a wolf had its benefits. But I flicked the button on the remote to turn the music off anyway.

"No, I had a reason. I was relaxing." I state in a `duh` tone.

"Relaxing? To bullet for my valentine?" he asked me sceptically.

"I find it relaxing, now what did you want?" I was getting impatient. I was watching him fix his nose into place; it would heal in five minuets. He walked out of the room, into the bathroom to get a cloth, before he gave me and answer. I was lying in bed still, it was only early.

"Were going out, Sam said we have to. The whole pack is going cliff diving. We have been told we have to be there for 11, so we have 20 minuets, so hurry up and get ready." He told me while dabbing the blood from his face. I only just realised he was only wearing swimming trunks. I'm not complaining.

I weighed up my options. If I decide not to get out of bed and to ignore Paul then the chances are he will drag me out. He will probably resort to forcing me to change and go. I know he would do it, bastard. It would probably be better if I just get up and get changed.

I threw my covers off, ignoring Paul, and walked around the room in nothing but one of his tee shirts I had stolen a few days ago. I wanted to see his reaction to this. When I reached the drawers I purposely bent over, giving him a good view, on purpose. To further my entertainment. I pick out my sexiest swim suit, a black one piece that covers less than a two piece. It was tied around my neck with two small triangles covering my boobs and a thin piece going down to my belly where a silver ring connected the two pieces of tiny fabric. Below that was the skimpiest pair of bottoms, just covering the necessities. I'm not a slut or anything I just wanted to see Paul's reaction.

I turn around to see him standing in the doorway, fists clenched, his face looks pained and his eyes we filled with a heat I could only describe as lust. This makes me internally giggle. I walk towards him, swinging my hips. Still wearing his shirt. His breath becomes shallow as I get closer to him, as I pass him I brush up gently against his. Laughing when he sharply exhales and makes a move towards me, which I neatly jump away from.

I go into the bathroom and change, making sure to make myself look sexy as hell. This will be fun. I walk out the door, I can hear Paul downstairs in the kitchen, and I go down the stairs and walk until I reach the kitchen door.

Paul's eyes land on me and he freezes. It's a good thing he wasn't drinking anything at the time or it would have been on the floor. His eyes widened and his body tensed. He looked like he was having an internal battle with himself. He kept trying to pull his eyes from me but every few seconds they would flick back and stick there.

He stalks towards me, his eyes narrowed. Oops I've made him angry. He reaches me and his arms grab my waist. Maybe I haven't. He pulls me tightly against his body. Grunting when my chest brushes against him. His fingers tilt my chin up so my face is looking up at him.

"You're doing it on purpose." He accuses. Ha, I suppose just to annoy him I should wind him up a bit.

"Doing what?" I ask innocently, pushing myself against him slightly. Satisfied with the deep breath he sucks in.

"You know what! Making me feel like this, teasing me. Lee, you can't do that and not expect consequences." He warns, utterly serious.

"Consequences like what?" I ask the picture of innocence.

"You're doing it again. But if you really want to know then it'll be along the lines of this." With that he rocked his hips forward into mine and grinded against me. Damn, that felt good. I gave a sound that was half moan half gasp. I wasn't expecting that. He was smirking at my reaction. Arrogant fucker. I ground my hips into his once more before dancing gracefully out of his arms. Laughing at the longing look he was giving me. He looked flustered, I like it.

Before anything else could happen the front door slammed. One of the guys, I looked at the clock, probably here to check if we were actually coming.

"Hey guys, where are you?" not just one of the guys, my baby brother, Seth. I looked down and panicked, I had on the swimsuit, and nothing else. I ran out the kitchen and up the stairs. As I reached my room I heard Seth reach the kitchen.

"Whoa, man, what's up?" Seth asked, probably referring to Pauls flustered look, no way are we mentioning `what's up`.

"Nothing, man, I'm fine. Just wait for lee to come back and we can leave." With a relieved sigh I began riffling through draws looking for shorts and a top. I finally succeeded and pulled on a pair of ripped and faded denim shorts and a white vest top. Not bothering with shoes. I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen.

They were sat at the table talking about baseball. I cleared my throat and looked at them expectantly. They realised what I wanted and stood up. We walked to the front door, not bothering to pick up keys for the car. No point. The beach was literally across the street.

Within five minuets we reached the top of the cliff where the whole pack were waiting, looking impatient. Probably at being kept waiting.

I just scowled at them. Ignoring me they carried on their conversation. I wasn't interested so I didn't listen. Pretty soon they were done and ready to dive.

Brady and Colin went first. They ran at the same time and simultaneously did front flips off the edge of the cliff and arched into a perfect dive. Within minuets they were out the water and messing around together on the san. It's like they are joined at the hip.

Next to go was Jacob. He simply walked up to the edge of the cliff and jumped off, still managing a perfect dive. He wasn't one for theatrics; he just liked the rush of going through the air.

After Jacob came Seth. He did much the same as Colin and Brady. After that Jared went, choosing a back flip. Next was Sam, he showed off, doing gymnastic shit in the air.

Quil and Embry were stood on the edge of the cliff arguing about who was going to dive first, it turned into a fight pretty soon. Quil shoved Embry who stumbled backwards; he retaliated by punching Quil in the face. This knocked Quil sideways, off the edge. He managed to somehow grab onto Embry by the wrist and yanked him with him. They flew down in a tangle of body parts and smashed into the water. I momentarily panicked, thinking they had hurt themselves, but calmed when I saw them surface. They laughed all the way to the shore.

Now it was only me and Paul left, the guys seemed to have forgotten us on the beach. We looked at each other before walking to the edge together. I looked down and notice that the guys on the beach were totally absorbed in themselves. Paul was studying the ocean below and I took the chance to give Paul a shove. He stumbled and fell off the cliff. While I tried to stop myself falling off the cliff because of laughter Paul twisted his body into a diving position as he fell and hit the water with minimal splashing. I finally decided to jump off; I backed away and took a short running start to throw me down faster. I flipped in the air 3 times and shot through the waves like it was air.

When I came up I noticed that I was only a few metres from Paul. I swam closer to him and closed the distance. He was glaring at me, I scowled playfully back at him before jumping on him to duck him under the waves. I let go of my death grip in his head and laughed as he spluttered after coming up. When he regained his composure. He growled at me and grabbed my hips; my legs wrapped themselves around his waist. My arms going around his neck to support my self. I was crushed against him, with his arms holding me against him tighter. He was holding us up in the water; I wonder what he is doing? We are rocking slightly in the waves, the cold ocean hardly noticed against our hot skin. Especially since I'm wrapped up in Pauls arms. I'm happy where I am; with a sigh I squeeze my legs tighter around Pauls hips. This makes him growl again. I love that sound. Just so I can hear it again I squeeze again. I get what I wanted.

"Consequences, lee, consequences." He reminds me through clenched teeth.

"hmmm." Was my only response. He growled at me again. That was it, I couldn't help it, and I ground my hips against his hard and leaned my head against his shoulder and blew my breath into the crook of his neck. He groaned into my hair and rocked his hips in response. I could feel him, and it exited me. A lot. I gave a long moan when he rubbed against me.

"Lee, we need to stop. We can't." His words registered but I ignored them. I didn't want to stop. It felt too good, he felt too good.

I still had my legs wrapped tightly around him and my chest pressed against his. I used this to his advantage. Rocking my hips against him and rubbing my chest against his, he could feel my nipple harden, and he growled my name. This exited me. I tried to do it again but his hands grasped my waist, stilling me. I frowned at him. He looked like he really wanted to carry on, but he was determined not to take advantage of me. He cant take advantage if I want him.

"Paul." I breathed that one word into his neck and his resolve faltered, nearly but not quite. I leaned forwards and kissed his neck lightly, traced my tongue over that spot then bit, hard enough to make him cry out. His determination crumbled in that second. He used the hands he had on my waist to grind me against him. I could feel how much he wanted it; I lifted my head from his neck and locked my eyes on his. He looked so sexy at the moment, his hair wet and dripping, I almost forgot that we were floating in the ocean. He looked good wet, he looked better when was wet and growling my name.

We had momentarily stopped teasing one another and were just staring into the others eyes. One of his hands came up and rubbed my cheek, I leaned into his hand. I looked back at him and was shocked to find his face inches from mine, one little move forwards and we would touch. I did just that, but not enough for us to touch. I smirked at the look on Pauls face. He leaned forwards the last few centimetres and his lips brushed against mine, gently. My heart sped. He brushed his lips against mine again. I growled, I wanted more. I thrust forwards and our lips crashed together. We moved our lips in perfect sync for a few seconds, and then I was suddenly not the only one wanting more. Pauls tongue flicked out once against my lower lip, then a second time, the next time he traced lightly over my bottom lip. I knew what he wanted, and I gave it to him. His tongue touched mine tentatively, gently. I growled and flicked against him, he growled and I repeat I love that sound. I battled with his tongue for dominance, losing but I put up a good fight.

One good thing about being a wolf is that we don't need to breathe as often, but eventually we will have too. We broke apart for air eventually, gasping. How the hell we were still floating I have no clue.

"mmmmhh." Paul sighed happily. I decided to wind him up. Still attached to him I pushed my weight against him while sucking in a breath, Paul didn't have the chance so when we went under he swallowed a mouthful of water. When we broke the surface he scowled at me. "What was that for?" he demanded.

My response was a splash in his face, I saw that he was about to get vengeance so I released my hold on him and swam away. Before I got far he grabbed my legs and pulled me back. He yanked me under the water. I came up spluttering, glaring at him. This went on for a while until the waves were getting too rough. We had to swim back to the shore.

When we reached the beach there was no one else there. Lovely, they left without us. Then again, we have been gone for god knows how long.

We went back to my house to watch a movie. When we got there no one was home, big surprise. Mum is always at work or Charlie's so that is understandable but where the hell Seth goes is a mystery to me. Maybe he has a new girlfriend.

We made some food and wolfed that down quickly. After that we settled in on the sofa, putting a random movie on. I realised how tired I was when I curled up under a blanked with my head resting on Paul's chest, his arms around me. This is becoming a regular occurrence.

Just as I am drifting to sleep Paul kisses my hair and whispers down to me, "sleep well, lee, I'll be here." I just murmured and incoherent response.

This is the beginning of something amazing, I can feel it.

**So, did you like it? **

**What did you think, leave me a review, with feedback.**

**Till next time,**

**Slashslashslash :)**


	6. a turn for the better, finally

**So, I am thinking of ending this story pretty soon. I think it is getting quite difficult to keep it going, I am running out of ideas that won't make this whole thing completely boring and/or sex crazed. So pm me or leave in a review either ideas I can use to keep it going or whether you think it would be best if I started bringing things to a close, if so- what kind of ending would you prefer? Wedding? Tragic? Death? baby? Just cute and cuddly? Let me know :)**

**Oh and I know this is short, but I just wanted to post something, considering I haven't in forever, also I wanted to let you know that stuff. So, short, but not too bad. I hope.**

**I would also like to say thank you to anyone who has been kind enough to review, I appreciate the feedback, I feel like I can write things that more people will connect with/understand/ like with peoples thoughts on previous chapters:¬)**

**A turn for the better, finally.**

* * *

><p>I guess I should believe my thoughts more often, when I thought that things with Paul were going to be good. Boy, was that was an understatement. This last month has been the best one since before my father died. He has stood by me, laughing with me, bantering with me, listening to me, calming me down when I lose my temper. He has stayed with me.<p>

I'm not saying that we are in a relationship, mostly, I mean sure we have the occasional kiss, mainly keeping it pg, but we haven't officially announced that we are together. Even though everyone else seems to believe we are, the pack do, the elders do even the people around the rez do. And even though we get harassed about it constantly he never complains, he simple puts his arm around my waist and squeezes me against him. Probably not helping to kill the gossip.

I've really gotten to know him, we spend a lot of time lying curled up together on the sofa, just talking. He tells me all about his family, how his dad is an abusive bastard, his mother died when he was young and his sister, he really loves his younger sister. You can tell just by hearing him talk about her that he would give his life if it would bring a smile to her face, I admire that about him.

Today we are going over to Sam's, for a barbeque, trust me I wouldn't be going if I didn't have to. But Sam insisted and Paul agreed with him, he said he would be there for me, he even used puppy eyes and who can resist that? Nobody, not even me, hard exterior and witty mouthed Leah Clearwater.

So here I am now, sitting in Paul's truck as he drives us down the drive and into an afternoon from hell. In approximately 20 seconds from now we would be submerged in pack drama, food and my worst nightmare.

There it was, the engine being killed, I'm going to have to get out of the truck. I could have sat and contemplated that all day but a nagging voice in the back of my head was saying ` get out of the truck before Paul comes and drags you out, you know he will, its better to save some dignity.`

With an exaggerated sigh, that she was sure the pack inside would hear, she threw open the door and got out. Standing there for a second before following Paul up the porch, he grabbed her hand on the second step, keeping hold of it as they walked through the door.

As soon as we stepped into the kitchen the smell of food assaulted my senses, as lovely as it smelt I could have done without all the aromas clouding up my already fuzzy head. Ignoring Emily completely I tugged Paul through the door of the kitchen into the living room what the pack was currently occupying.

One was sofa Embry, Colin and Brady sat all joking and having an oddly intent conversation on pickled cabbage, I don't even want to know. On the next sofa Jared sat with Kim on his lap, both lost in one another's eyes, next to them was Quil who had a giggling Claire balanced on his knee. It was cute to watch, not that I would ever admit to saying that, I wouldn't hear the end of it. On the final sofa Jacob sat with Sam an empty space on one side of Sam. I saw Pauls eyes flick towards it. Uh oh, this is a bad idea.

But nonetheless, Paul ignored my little shake of the head; he dragged us over the sofa. He sat down and I just looked at him, what did he expected me to do? He sighed impatiently and tugged my arm until I fell towards him. Ugh, he wanted me to sit on him? He wasn't letting go.

He tugged again until I was sprawled across him, he smirked at me while I tried to sit up and regain some composure. When I was comfy, sitting on his lap, my head on his chest, I relaxed against his warm body. He chuckled while wrapping his arms around me and nuzzling his cheek against my hair.

I didn't realise for a while but Sam had been watching this for a while, his eyes showed a mix between anger, sadness and happiness. I was too confused about his emotions to dwell on it. Instead I just relaxed against Paul, listening to the conversation he was having will Quil while Claire snuggled against him, ready for bed by the looks of it.

And that was how the afternoon was spent, until Emily called us all in to get food. Mmhm, I am hungry and with all the food in the kitchen I know I will be happy once I'm done eating, even though me and Emily don't really get along anymore there is no denying that she can cook.

For the next hour we all ate, talked, ate again and then talked some more. After everyone was done eating and there was a monstrous pile of dishes to be washed everyone but Sam, Emily and Kim sat back down in the living room, convening from earlier, while they did the dishes. The seating arrangements were, gladly by the look on Pauls face, the same as before.

And that's how it went all night, at about 7`oclock someone put a movie on and we all, in mine, Pauls, Jared's, Kim's, Emily's and Sam's case cuddled, and watched the movie. About half way through I realised how comfy I was, wrapped up in his arms, his cheek against my head, my head on his chest, my legs tucked up. I was extremely content with the way things were at the moment.

And so I began to drift off, letting the warmth and comfort Paul provided wrap me up in a soft cocoon of dreams.

* * *

><p><strong>There we go, very short, but quite sweet I think. As I said before review or pm me with your thoughts on the stories endingcontinuance, also let me have some feedback, good comment and criticism are welcomed as a means to improve my skills:)**


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